Howdy, folks! Ted here, and I’d like you all to welcome the new WAtT Security Guard, iChef #3B5AO2-HH45-271C! Threebee (that’s what we call him around the studio) beat out all the other applicants easily, meeting or exceeding all of Cody’s required performance benchmarks (stuff that comes up a lot here, like being able to operate in an oxygen free environment for several minutes, withstand temperatures of up to 500 Fahrenheit, and survive a “rough-housing” session with eight large, semi-magical wolves, etc.). Best of all, the security guard hat looks great on Threebee!

Jon says he’s looking forward to things quieting down around here, now that we have a “2-ton, poorly designed, possibly homicidal automaton retro-fitted to perform way outside its originally intended use.” Then he said he couldn’t think of any way that could go wrong, which really put me at ease – as you all know, Jon is really thorough with his research!

Dave still seems kind of down about the vampire koalas. Some days he just sits by the window, drinking wine and looking at the spot where their daylight-proof enclosure used to be, saying things like “You and me, Ted. We’re the only ones who ever really liked them. Maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe you’re worth a damn after all. We’ll show ‘em, though. You and me. Let’s go on an adventure.” Hopefully he’ll be back to normal soon.

Oops! Looks like it’s time to sweep up the hangar. See you next time!

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