Howdy, folks! Ted here, and I’d like you all to welcome the new WAtT Security Guard, iChef #3B5AO2-HH45-271C! Threebee (that’s what we call him around the studio) beat out all the other applicants easily, meeting or exceeding all of Cody’s required performance benchmarks (stuff that comes up a lot here, like being able to operate in an oxygen free environment for several minutes, withstand temperatures of up to 500 Fahrenheit, and survive a “rough-housing” session with eight large, semi-magical wolves, etc.). Best of all, the...
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It's been quite a while since I left the studios at Drowning Man Productions. Cody had been working on having me set up a shovel museum "for posterity." In it he had me collect all of the shovels he's used over the years to save various days and segments of populations. He's got the 1952 Gandy that Santa Claus gave him last Christmas (that was used to brutally beat the magical life out of Evil Santa), the Ames Company Long Wood Handle Round Point Shovel that he used to utterly destroy some zombies and other assorted undead last Halloween, the Nupla 72022 Square Point Mud Shovel that helped clear the rubble when our studio was demolished the year before that, and lots of other scoops, trowels, and spades that have figured prominently in Cody's life. There's one shovel that wasn't accounted for, however. The Craftsman Wooden Handle Digging Shovel with 14-gauge heavy duty steel blade and trusty ash wood handle was NOT in the museum. It was last seen piercing the heart(?) of Magnus, the terrible three-headed chicken beast that guards the legendary lost city of Ho-Qin, the First Accountant...
Dave finally came out of the breakroom today – HOORAY!! It’s been really hard not having him around for the past week, but everything is okay now. He built a whole big sculpture in the breakroom using only the stuff he found in there! Jon is still trying to figure out what it means, and keeps asking me to get him things like protractors and rulers and lutefisk. He says he’s pretty sure the sculpture has something to do with Ho Qin, but it could also be “meaningless artistic argle-bargle deliberately created to piss me off.” Or maybe… To WASTE ALL HIS TIME? Ha-ha!!!
Dave is such a genius. :)
Also, Cody figured out why the critters haven’t been hungry. It seems they managed to chew a hole in their enclosure, and have been sneaking out to feed on whatever animals they come across in the greater compound. I fixed the hole while Cody kept the critters at bay with his shovel, and I only lost my shoes and about one pint of blood. Hopefully this will solve the problem we’ve been having with our mail delivery, too.
Oh! Dave just shouted that he needs me to bring him some coffee. See you next time!
Lots going on at WAtT Studios this week! Cody bought a player piano using money he made from “sound investment in various pharmaceuticals,” and rigged it up to play “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt” every time the doorbell rings. Jon still hasn’t figured out how to turn it off, but he did manage to turn the volume up. Meanwhile, Dave has locked himself in the breakroom and is communicating with us by slipping napkins smeared with jam under the door.
Ha! This one says “TED, IF YOU BLOG ABOUT THIS, I WILL MAKE SURE THE MIMES FIND OUT WHERE YOU SLEEP.”
I’m kind of worried about the vampire koalas and Cody’s sleigh wolves. When I brought down their food today, they wouldn’t touch it! They’re usually so excited at mealtime that I worry they might break out of their enclosure, but today they acted like they weren’t even hungry. I hope the poor guys aren’t getting sick or something…
Anyhow, enough of my yammering on – I need to go post another Craigslist ad. Today was supposed to be the new security guard’s first day, but he never showed up.
Ted here! All of us here at WAtT Studios are looking forward to a nice, quiet President’s Day. Dave has a super neat tradition of spending the entire 24-hour period dressed as George Washington, and Cody has spent the whole day trying to trick him into telling a lie. Jon, for his part, has been trying to explain “the apocryphal nature of the cherry tree story,” but nobody is listening to him.
Uncle Sam dropped by last night, and decided to stick around for a few drinks after failing to murder us all. It was super fun! At midnight, Dave put on his George Washington costume and things got a little weird between him and Sam. Everyone was real drunk by then, though, so nothing bad happened.
Anyhow, I need to go research "how to clean up arterial spray" on the Google and post a Craigslist ad for a new security guard, so that's about it for this blog post. I hope you all have a safe and patriotic President's Day - it's what the Founders intended, after all!
Howdy, folks! Ted here, and I’m super excited to add “Official WAtT Webmaster” to my list of intern duties! I’m thinking of putting that between “Official WAtT Structural Engineer” and “Official WAtT Breakroom Facilitator” on my resume, but I might end up going alphabetical instead.
For anybody who’s new around here, I’m Ted, Wasting ALL the Time – A Podcast’s Official Unpaid Intern. I help the guys out around the studio by taking care of all the things that might distract them from their creative work: making sure there’s plenty of cups in the break room, keeping the studio tidy, rebuilding the hangar after alien attacks – that kind of thing.
When I asked Dave if I could start blogging for the site, he said "Nobody reads that crap anyway, so I don't really care what you do." I laughed about that one for five whole minutes! Dave's my favorite - so funny! But anyway, I'll be posting here every week or so to keep you up-to-date on the daily goings-on around WAtT Studios. Hope to see you around!